How are you?
It makes me very sad that we don't talk anymore. It makes me even sadder that I seem to be toxic to your state of mind and happiness. I say this in goodwill, i know it happens without malice and I don't bring it up in reproach. I want to explain my view of the world we shared.
It is very hard being black and white in a world full of greys. If it's not said, it is not to be. If things are to change, things need to be discussed. That is how it works in my mind. I was of the understanding that we were friends. Perhaps friends with possibilities. I was foolish. I felt rushed. It takes me a while. I was wary. I really loved your company, being around you, talking to you on the telephone, you as you were. We larrrrfed. We held hands. You have lovely hands. I liked watching you hold a roll up. I fell against you when I hugged you goodbye and that, it turned out, was the last time I saw you. It's like a bad food experience. I made you ill and now you can't tolerate me for long, if at all. It's a shame. I wish with all my heart we could meet and talk and drink lots of coffee in a train station. Nothing sinister.
I want to set the record straight. I want to tell you who, why, what. I want to be blunt. I type it out but it sounds uncouth and I delete. Ask me and I will tell you. Ask me anything. Talk to me. See what I did there?
Anyway, let me get to the point.
You are a beautiful man.
You have great hair.
You have a beautiful Soul.
You are one of my favourite people of all time.
With you I could just be Be.
I hope you are happy and healthy. I hope the pipe worked out well and that your hats are plentiful. I have lots of hope for you Masio and lots of love.
Sweet dreams,
Bea
